I thought I loved you.
Until I came back to reality. The more I talked to you and searched for comfort, the more I found rejection and pure selfishness.
I was heartbroken, confused..angry. How could someone reject my love for them? How could someone reject me for caring and bending over backwards for them? Why would someone do that?
Why would someone hurt me when I have done my best to love them unconditionally?
You know it took me a while. To realize, it was never me. It was always you. Your selfish ways, your narcissistic personality..you tried drowning me in your own sorrows and guilt.
You tried punishing me for the sins you committed. You pushed me away because you couldn’t handle the fact that you didn’t deserve me.
No, you didn’t deserve me. You didn’t deserve the love I gave you or the compassion I showed you. But you continued to allow me to be blind. You continued to take advantage of what I gave you because you’ve never felt so cherished before. And you were scared to know what it would be like, without that.
But you had to know, it was going to come to an end. Your true colors were going to show soon enough.
And they did.
And once I realized you were never who you said you were, once I realized you were everything I was scared of, I came out of the illusion I thought of you.
I removed the lies I told myself about you and I finally saw the dark colors you hid. And though it hurt me, I was able to release the chains that was connected between us. The chains that kept me down, hidden in my own misery.
And since that day, I became free.