Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

The definition is to let go and let be. At least that’s what I did in my opinion.

I forgave you. Not for you but for me. I forgave you because I deserved it after fighting with myself for so long..knowing you wouldn’t come back.

After fighting the tears from flooding and seeping through my pillow covers.

After screaming for months because I could feel the tear in my heart you created.

After losing the air during my anxiety attacks, panicking that I lost you…forever. When really, I was blind to the fact that I never even had you.

Yes, I forgave you after you placed me in my own personal living hell.

After you revealed to be the devil, bringing the demon out of me.

I’ve been waiting for the day to finally let you know…I’m more free than I’ve ever felt before.

I’ve been waiting for the day I finally felt peace.

And I pray maybe one day you’ll find that. Because I know you’re screaming in your own mind, feeling trapped with the devil you have become.

Knowing you aren’t worth shit. No. You aren’t.

I just hope you know, I only wish the best for you. Because they say karma is a bitch. And I wouldn’t hold it against them.

And as I write this, I smile with anticipation. Wondering what life holds now that I’m free of these chains you put on me. Now that you no longer have that power over me. Now that you’re gone, and I’m able to breathe.

Forgiveness.

That’s what I had for you. My last gift for you, yet one of my very first gifts for myself. to let you go. to let me be free. to let me be.

I forgive you.