Do Better (Part II)

It’s been months..months since you called, and texted.

Or even looked at my Instagram story.

I used to put them up so I could see your name pop up as a viewer. I didn’t do it for the attention of others. I did it for yours.

And here I am, with crazy bed hair in my black hoodie and pink Victoria Secret shorts standing with my front door wide open – frozen.

Because it’s 2:30 am and you’re standing right in front of me. Unannounced.

Looking at me with those deep hazel eyes I used to love looking into. Yet these eyes are a little red, and your breath smells like mixes of dark liquor that you’ve been taking back all night.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

I can feel my chest tighten up as my heartbeats thrust right out. Get it together Jasmine. Stay strong. “Me neither but you better have a reason at 2:30 in the morning on a Saturday night.”

“Jasmine..”

Hearing him say my name…

Jasmine. Stay strong.

I cross my arms together. They say body language is everything and right now my arms crossed means to back tf off. Although at this moment, I don’t even know if I wanted him to. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“No, I should. I should be here. With you. Because I messed up. Because I – “

I raise my hand. “Stop. Just stop.” I close my eyes as I feel them burning to let tears flow down. “All these months..nothing. And NOW you want to say something? Now??”

He took a step forward. The smell of his breath got stronger..he definitely had way too many shots tonight. I noticed as I looked down to the ground how he kept moving his toes within his sneakers he wore. I couldn’t help but admire the way he dressed..how he always did on our dates out.

“Jasmine, I know you might not believe me, because yes, here I am 2:30 in the morning knocking on your door. But I love you. I always have. I always will.

I looked up quickly, as all my feelings that I’ve been putting down for months came rushing back.

“I have tried to find you in every girl I met.”

I snarled. “Well you should have known you were setting yourself up for failure.”

“Please. Just one conversation. I just..I just want to explain myself.”

I bit my lip and tapped my foot a few times as I leaned against the door and thought. I’ve been fighting every urge to text him, to text this douchebag, every day. I cried for weeks because he left out of MY life. HE needed space. HE never texted me. HE never called. HE wanted to move on without me. HE wanted to see other girls.

“Come on in.” I nodded towards my living room.

What am I doing? What did I just do? This could either go well or could go all wrong. And the fact that it is 2:30 in the morning, means nothing good can come out of this..that it’s about to go all wrong…again.

Author: alongcameshe

A 20-something year old trying to find the words to express the realest of the real when it comes to her rawest emotions in life. From experiences to life lessons to things she's passionate to, she experiments with her creative side by blogging her moments in life. As along her life came, along came she.

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