It was never easy growing up, as I struggled with self-esteem. Starting in elementary school, I always had people pick on me whether it was because I had a unibrow, sideburns, or because I had short hair and pimples. I wasn’t one of those popular kids who had it all together and was active in sports. Up until this past year actually, it was hard for me to really be confident in myself and I always looked for other peoples’ opinions. But with certain trials I faced recently, I broke down. I hit rock bottom more than I ever did before, and it made me feel at my worst – alone and vulnerable.
But this break down was something I needed. It helped me push myself off from the ground, and stand up for myself; stand up for everything I believed in. It helped motivate me and understand that I needed myself more than anything, and if I couldn’t find my own self-love, then how could I ever be truly happy?
So, I started working on how I could find myself and accept who I am as a person. As you continue to read this, I hope these 10 suggestions that helped me, help inspire you to do your own discerning, to build your confidence and to become the incredible person you were always destined to be.
“I am enough.” –
I never believed it, but it never stopped me from telling myself that. Even now, I still tell myself, “I am enough. I am worthy.”. Whether or not you believe it now, saying that helps penetrate it in your mind so that eventually you do see your worth and see that you are enough. So start today by telling yourself that you are enough and that you are worthy of everything – love, happiness, peace. Say it at least 2-5 times a day and when you say it, try to mean it to the best of your ability. I promise you, it will get easier the more you say it.
Whether you work or are in school, have money or are completely broke, you can travel in town or out of town – just travel! Whether it was after work or on the weekends, I did my best to just go to the beach that was 45 min away from where I lived, or to the park near by and just walk. Take that time to embrace those moments – the beautiful city you live in, the nature around you, or the nice weather. And travel alone. Take that time to have fun by yourself, and give yourself a break from the hectic life you live.
Read Books –
I used to hate reading when I was younger. But the older I get, the more I find myself heading to the library more or ordering books online. As I hit rock bottom, I forced myself to try and go to the library and pick out some books that could help motivate me to stay strong. I ended up picking out 10 different books, but knew I should only go with 4-5 books (especially since I couldn’t carry them all at one time). But reading helped really open up my eyes to new perspectives. One book that I’ve been reading, (that’s associated to my own personal beliefs) Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelley, has not only helped me grow in my faith, but open my eyes of who I am as God’s daughter, and it challenges me every day to be the best version of myself. So I encourage you, to try and get yourself to the library and pick out some good self-motivating books.
YouTube Videos –
YouTube Videos have been my best friend for the absolute longest. If you don’t have the youtube app on your phone – get it now. Every morning before work, I would pull out my phone to look up some type of youtube video that would help motivate me. Trent Shelton is by far one of my favorite speakers. His talks have helped me in so many ways through different tribulations. You can literally type anything into youtube, and find something. Start with “Self Esteem Motivational”. One of the first videos that pops up under that is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjZ0KbJcav0
Create a list of the traits that people love about you. Ask your friends, your family members, coworkers – anyone! Write them down. Next, write down another list that you love about yourself. I want you to keep that list, and continue to write in it as time goes on. And continue to read it every day – the list of traits that people love about you, and the list of traits that you love about yourself. And eventually, they should start to become very similar.
Prayer & Meditation
Meditation can be difficult to master if you’re a beginner. I’m a beginner and I can barely manage to do 10 minutes without starting to think of other things. So I pray – asking God to help me see my worth more, to help build the strength to get through whatever obstacles comes my way, and to continue to always fulfill His will. And as you pray, embrace those moments in silence. Embrace that certain moment where you are blessed to breathe another second; where you are blessed to have your heart beat again and again; embrace those moments. And as you practice this, you start to build meditation. Peace comes from within, you just have to find it in the depths of your own heart. And to draw towards this goal, meditation is the key.
Okay so curiosity might have killed the cat, but if the cat didn’t challenge himself, then what would life be about? No, I’m not saying to go jump off a bridge or to try something that will get you killed. I’m talking about, be curious as to who you are! Be curious in a way where you want to find out what you’re about, the things you like, the things you don’t like – date yourself. As I previously mentioned, go out and travel! Try out new hobbies. As I was getting to know myself, I decided to pick up crocheting. Did I end up continuing it? No. But did I try? Yes. And that’s what matters. I also tried coloring, writing, building things from pinterest, taking myself out for a nice dinner/lunch, etc. Be curious and try new things. That is a great way to find out who you are, and what you love about yourself.
Social Media Fast
Before you freak out, just try it – one hour, one day, one week, heck, if you can do one month – I salute you! It literally will put your mind at ease. Society is filled, and I mean FILLED with lies that other people’s lives are perfect. Each one of us has compared ourselves to at least one person that we follow on social media and wished our lives could be more like them, or wish we had something they did. But the truth is – no one is as happy or perfect as they seem on social media; don’t let it fool you.
Music Makes You Lose Control
Music always makes me feel better but it can also shift your mood depending on the songs. So I suggest putting on songs that you truly love to sing your heart to. Put on your favorite song – sing along or dance like no one is watching. Because really- people aren’t watching 😉
Whether it’s a diary or writing a poem or blog, journaling can be very therapeutic. It helps you process your thoughts better. And one thing I love doing, is looking back at my previous entries and seeing how far I came. Knowing I made it through those certain days helps me know that I am strong, that I am capable of moving forward, to keep pushing through, and that I will be okay. Journaling helps you get out any negative emotion, and it also helps you realize what a strong individual you have become over time.
I truly hope that you will try at least one or two of these. Remember, you are an incredible person and you deserve to truly know that about yourself. So take that chance and help build your confidence through these 10 ways. Enjoy.